Birthing Beautiful Ideas

So I promised nearly two months ago that I would write a series on “Sex after C-section.”

And here I am, without any “Sex after C-section” posts to show for it.

Ahem.

It’s not that I haven’t tried writing any of these promised posts.  I have many drafts, oh yes I do.

It’s just that each time I get to the point where I’m about to finish one of these posts, I get cold feet (cold ovaries?  cold labia?  no, no, they sound like a couple of delicacies that the “IT PUTS THE LOTION IN THE BASKET” guy from Silence of the Lambs would serve at his brunch buffet.  cold feet it is) and just cannot. hit. publish.

It’s not that sex makes me nervous.  But writing about sex does.

So  in order to get the hell over myself and my fears about writing about sex!, I’m going to do a little interview with myself.  About sex.  And c-sections.  And my thoughts on writing about sex after c-sections.

Consider it my own personal public pep talk.

And here’s hoping that after this “interview,” I’ll be able to “meet the needs” of all those folks who find my blog by searching for things like “vaginal tightness and cesarean section” and “sexual sensitivity after c-section” and “good sex after c-section.”

In fact, I really hope that I can meet the needs of those folks in the latter group.

Here goes nothing…

So: do ya fancy yerself a sex writer?

Hells no.

As I’ve said before (when I wrote about my dad, my father-in-law, and my Mormon friend Alex finding a riding crop under my bed), my personality includes the very strange juxtaposition of a lighthearted sense of prudishness and an altogether dirty mind.  So you can just imagine, as one side of me thinks about ways to integrate vibrators into adhesion healing, the other side of me is all like, “HEAVENS TO BETSY, NO!  YOU CAN’T SAY V*BRATOR!”

So why are you writing about sex after c-sections then?

Well, for one, I promised.

And I made this promise in light of some major misunderstandings and controversy surrounding sex, c-sections, and vaginas.

Long story short, the Mominatrix, in her recently published sex book, made some insensitive remarks about c-section mamas, the Feminist Breeder (TFB) responded to these comments, and then a shitstorm was a-brewin’ on teh internets.

Somewhere in the middle of the drama, I said, “Hey, why don’t I write some posts about sex after c-section?!  For all of those women who need and deserve some good advice?!”

And then I was quiet about it for nearly two months.

The end.

Do you hate the Mominatrix?

No, I don’t hate the Mominatrix.  I’m sure that Kristen Chase is, in fact, a very nice person.

But I do think that her c-section comments were (probably unintentionally) insensitive and borne of a place of serious misinformation.  I also think that the Mominatrix’s radio show response to TFB’s post missed an important opportunity to apologize to those who may have been hurt or offended by her comment.  (In my mind, it was so obvious that the radio show was a response to the TFB post that it was shocking that there was no mention of that post or a “Hey ladies, I’m sorry” nod to the hundreds of comments on it.)

But the Mominatrix drama is really beside the point.

Cesarean sections currently account for nearly one-third of births in the United States (a tremendous problem all on its own), yet there’s really a lack of good, thorough advice about sex after c-section “out there.”  (And hey, if y’all know where this good thorough advice is, point me there now so that I don’t have to freak out about writing this advice myself!)

Why do you think that you are qualified to write about this anyway?

I’ve had a c-section, and I’ve had sex after a c-section.  And I can read.  And write.

Isn’t that enough?

Um, okay, great.  When are you going to start writing these posts already?

Soon, alright?  Soon.  Just as long as this pep talk works.

Do you honestly think that vibrators can help with the healing process?

Sure, what could it hurt?  (Well, actually I need to ask a few professionals about this just to make sure that my ideas aren’t more of a hurt than a help.)

Just stay tuned…