Monday house update: it’s sorta looking awesome
Once upon a time, there was a little boy who asked his mommy to draw him a picture of a cow.
His mommy, who loved her little boy dearly, was more than happy to pick up a crayon and a fresh sheet of construction paper and draw for him her very best bovine creation.
Upon receiving his mother’s heartfelt gift, the little boy held the drawing at arm’s length, examined it, and stated, “Well, it sorta looks like a cow.”
He was only two.
And, as you may have guessed, he was (and is) my son, M.
And I was (and am) the artistically-challenged mother in the story.
It should come as little-to-no-surprise, then, that after testing out my priming and painting skills in our new kitchen, I realized that it would be a very good idea if Tim and I could hire someone to paint the house.
You know, just so that no one would say ever anything like, “Well, it sorta looks like you didn’t fingerpaint the place!”
(You may be wondering how anyone could make priming and painting look that bad, but HELLO, did you not read the above anecdote?! A two-year-old can even spot my poor skills from a mile away. Or at least an arm’s length away.)
So, with some hefty generosity coming our way, Tim and were able to hire James. Or “Super-James,” as I call him.
(Super) James is a local independent contractor who is not only painting our house but has also installed new bathtubs and has agreed to install new lighting in the kitchen. He’s spectacular and amazing and extremely kind and efficient and totally reasonable, so if you’re looking for a spectacular, amazing, etc. contractor in the Central Ohio region, please send me an email and I can send you James’s contact information.
In any case, while the house is far from completely finished, I thought that I would share a few before-and-after teaser shots. With the love and hard work not only of Tim and me but also of my parents, my uncle, my brother-in-law, my sister, and yes, the spectacular, amazing, etc. James, our house has come a long way since we bought it–i.e. back on closing day when we found a dog turd in the dining room, the unmistakable black streaks of ghosting on the walls, unidentifiable orange grease-goo on the kitchen ceilings, blood stains underneath the carpet, and ORANGE-FLAVORED KY JELLY LEFT IN THE DRAWER OF THE ONE PIECE OF FURNITURE REMAINING IN THE HOUSE oh-my-lord-there’s-nothing-so-gross-as-finding-a-disgusting-and-filthy-stranger’s-KY-jelly.
(Now you may be wondering, “Why in the HELL did you purchase this house?!” But just wait and see. Oh just wait and see.)
Dining Room - BEFORE
Please note: nasty carpet (which is GONE and shall be replaced in just one week) and the black-stained walls, which are cleaned and partially painted and now look like this:
Dining Room - AFTER
Sweet mother of cleanliness! And you can take that quite literally–my mom and I both scrubbed the ceilings and walls for hours.
Kitchen - BEFORE
This is what the kitchen looked like when the previous owners lived there. (I won’t even show you the close-up photos I took of the aforementioned unidentifiable orange goo on the ceiling and walls.)
This is what the kitchen looks like with a deep cleaning, some work on the cabinets, and a fresh coat of paint from, you guessed it, Super-James.
Kitchen - AFTER
So the moral of the story?
Next time one of my kids asks me to draw a picture, I’ll say, “Are you sure you don’t want me to hire someone like, say, Super-James to do that? I mean, I can clean up your crap (literally) like it’s nobody’s business, and, oh yeah, I can install a toilet, little dudes, but I’m not so sure you want me drawing. Or painting. Or doing anything that requires an iota of artistic skill.”
We’ve been slowly restoring a 1910 house, and given how horrible I am with power tools (put a cordless drill through my finger! Yay!) I’m not allowed to use them, so I do the painting. I find that artistic people struggle with painting, because it’s about details and being careful.
Wallpaper on the other hand, argh.
Everything is looking fantastic. I am glad you found someone great to help with the painting, etc – though I will state for the record that you probably did better on your own than you are giving yourself credit for. You have a tendency to be too modest, Kristen
. I am super excited about your house developments and about how close it all is to being done.
@Mrs. Spit – You make a good point about how artistic people might also struggle w/ painting. Perhaps I just don’t have the patience for it!
And OUCH! I hope your finger is healing well! (Incidentally, my uncle did the same thing a couple of weeks ago. I can’t even look at it without feeling chills run down my spine.)
@Ren – Thanks! And no, I don’t think I’m being too modest. You would not BELIEVE the difference between my work and Super-James’s work. It was pretty embarassing, and if he ever asks, I’m going to blame the original priming work on someone else.
Whoo hoo! Awesome job on the house! Oh and don’t feel bad about your painting skills. I totally suck at painting (a fact that you will probably notice if you come over to my house). We are too cheap to hire anyone. Luckily I have the bestest friends in the world and they are going to come help paint the nursery. So at least the babies room will stand a chance of looking decent! Anyways – very excited for you and hope the move goes well!
It looks great! I remember my husband and I looked at so many terrifying homes when we were looking early last year. My favorite–before we walked inside, our realtor got a call from the realtor representing the house telling us not to open the utility room under any circumstances…because there was a starving Rottweiller locked inside! Luckily, he was mistaken, and the Rottweiler had been removed (hopefully to a place with food), but not before clawing all the drywall and wires out of the wall and urinating and defecating everywhere.
What a gem! Sweat equity!
Anyway, I’m excited to see more! I can tell you guys are working hard.
Oh wow love the remodeling! I am working on Keith to repaint the house, everything is WOOD, especially the kitchen and it drives me crazy because it makes the house look so dark.
What brand of paint did you use?
@Sarah – Thanks! We’re using Sherwin Williams. I forget which exact paint we’re using, but I think it was on the lower end of the “middle-tier.” We did, however, need to use some high quality primer in order to take care of the ghosting on the walls and a few unseemly odors. (As I write all of this down, it does seem as if we were completely irrational for purchasing the house! HA!)
Good luck with your own painting projects!
@Bethany – Oh wow! Well, I guess I can now say, “Hey, at least there isn’t a starving Rottweiler in the laundry room!”